Last week, I wrote about strategies to consider if school―pre-school!–isn’t on your agenda, but it is on your child’s. This week, I’m tackling grandparental indoctrination. Not grandparental opposition targeted at you―but those essentially behind your-back attempts to convince your children―or, as they think of them, their grandchildren―that they want to go to school.
The most common form this takes is the “when you go to school, I will buy you x, x, and x” campaign. I love this one, because it’s so easy to combat. It goes like this:
Child: Grandma says she’ll buy me a watch when I go to school.
You: You want a watch? Let’s go get you one now.
Odds are, Grandma’s not offering to buy your babe a pony or a helicopter, right? Best away to neutralize the bribe I know of.
The second most common variant is the grandparents telling the child that when they go to school, they will learn how to… x, y and z. You know what to say, right?
You: You want to learn about [zorillas, quarks, why worms are pink]? Awesome. Let’s do it right now.
And get thee to a library, Google or Youtube.
Third variant: the friends card. The grandparents (or, the lady next door) tell your child, “Won’t you be lonely when all the other children are in school?” Your response: make sure you have a homeschooling community around you, right? That doesn’t mean being part a yahoo or Facebook group with 500 members, although that’s a good starting point when you’re searching. That means four or five families you really connect with and like to spend time with.
You: So, which of our friends do you want to hang with today?
Coming soon: What about socialization, in more detail.
On Nothing By The Book this week: Indoctrinating folks into The Princess Bride via talk of almost-severed-body parts.